Pounding Heart
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Sara feels terrible after Nick get's the promotion. Alcohol fuels her as Grissom starts to notice.


Grissom held me against the blood spattered sheet hanging on the wall. I looked at him aware of his steady breathing. He seemed to enjoy just standing there. I looked at him watching his eyes search my face. He came closer causing me to sweat a little.

"Grissom, I wanted to ask you a question." I said, moving past him.

He looked to the side trying to shake the memory of being up against me.

"Okay." He said

"Well you know I put in for the promotion."

"Your application is on my desk." He said, nodding.

"I wanted to know that what did or didn't happen between us would not be a factor."

He looked stunned as I said this. His mouth opened a little as if he were struggling on what to say.

"You know what….I'm over talking. Just ignore me. I better go." I said, running out fast. He watched me go still stunned.

I went out of the room leaning against the wall taking a breath.

A week went by and I found out that Nick got the promotion. I was crushed and I knew that Grissom had something to do with it. After a confrontation with Grissom while working on a limo I went to the locker room sitting on a bench. Shift was over and I just needed some time alone.

I walked out of the locker room going down the hallway seeing Grissom locking his office. He looked over seeing me stopping looking at him then I started the other way.

"Sara." He called

I closed my eyes sighing as I heard him walk over.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yeah." I said, looking at him.

"Want to go out to eat?"

"No offense, but I am not ready to do anything with you Grissom."

He looked at me nodding silently.

"Your still mad?"

"Yes I am." I said, glaring at him.

"I told you why I chose him."

"That still does not make it right." I said, walking down the hall.

He watched me leave then he went the other way. I sat in my car for a while in front of the building. While driving I stopped at a store buying a case of beer.

Weeks later Brass knocked on Grissom's office door. Grissom at his desk looked up seeing his friend.

"Hey." He said, looking down at a form he was signing.

"Gil, can we talk?" Brass asked

"I can give you five minutes." Grissom said

"That should be enough." Brass said, as he walked over sitting down in a chair "I was wondering if you had talked to Sara any?"

Grissom looked over at him with a questioning look.

"Sara?"

"Yeah, I am sure you noticed that she has been popping cough drops."

"She said she had a cold."

"It's not a cold, Gil." Brass said "If you took your head out from your office you would notice it is more than that."

"What's wrong?" Grissom asked

"Drinking."

Grissom sat back in his chair taking his glasses off.

"I talked to her about it and she told me that she's been doing this for week's maybe even months. She drinks before shift and after. I hate to say this, but the only place for her is down if she keeps it up."

"I'll talk to her." Grissom said

"Good." Brass said, getting up to leave. Grissom sat back still putting his glasses back on thinking. He put his pen down getting up walking out in search of me.

Greg came out of a room seeing him looking concerned.

"Hey Grissom."

"Have you seen Sara?"

"No." Greg said, watching the man walk past looking in every room.

I drank from the water fountain as I took some pills in the hallway. Grissom saw me walking over. I glanced at him noticing the expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"Sara, will you come to my office?"

"Now?" I asked

"Yes." He said

"Okay." I said, looking at him. He put his hand on my back leading me to his office. I walked in turning watching him shut the door "Have a seat."

"Is something wrong?" I asked, as I sat down in a chair.

"Do you have a headache?" He asked, as he sat in his seat behind the desk.

"No."

"I saw you taking pills."

"Oh, yeah, it's just a small headache." I said, touching it.

He cleared his throat moving his chair forward.

"Sara, it has come to my attention that you have been affected by a cold for weeks now and I want to know if you need to see a doctor."

"No, I am fine." I said "My throat is sore sometimes."

He looked at me and I felt nervous.

"It could be serious."

"No, I had it checked."

"When?"

"The other day."

"Whose your doctor?"

"Why?" I asked

"Well I want to call him and ask him if you should be working." He said, grabbing the phone on the desk.

"Grissom, I'm fine. What is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong is your lying to me." He said, putting the phone down.

"Lying?" I said, standing "I am not lying!"

"I know you drink!"

I stared at him in silence. He took a breath standing coming around to me.

"Sara, if you have a problem then I think we need to address it."

"I don't have a problem."

"I think you do." He said, touching my arm. I looked down at his hand then at him.

I made him let me go as I walked out quickly leaving him. He observed me for days watching everything I did. He stayed in his office doing work not knowing that I had gone out to drink with Nick and Warrick.

As he sat thinking at his desk the phone rang.

"Supervisor Grissom." He said, listening.

He froze looking ahead taking his glasses off.

"Is she all right?"

I sat in a chair in the police station hearing someone walking over to me. I knew who it was before he sat down. He looked at me sighing then I felt his hand clasp mine.

"I'll take you home."

I sighed looking down as he continued to look at me.

I said nothing in his car as he drove. He glanced at me then turned on my street. I heard the car engine turn off as he parked. I knew what was coming. We sat there in silence looking out at the apartment building. I looked over at him watching him rub his face leaning back in the seat.

"Thanks." I said

"That's all right." He said, surprising me.

I glanced at him before opening the door leaving the car. I walked to the stairs seeing him come out following me up. I opened my door looking back at him as he followed inside shutting the door. I walked in turning on the kitchen light.

"Water?" I asked

"No thanks." He said, walking over. I opened a water bottle drinking looking at him. He tapped his fingers on the counter waiting "Why don't we sit down and chat?"

"Couldn't we skip the chat and get the punishment over with?" I asked

"No." He said, walking over to my living room couch. I put the bottle down on the counter then I walked over plopping down in the chair.

He pressed his hands together sitting on the couch looking at me.

"You could lose your job for this." He said

"Nothing happened."

"Sara, you were driving after drinking!" He said "You can't tell me you don't have a problem. You will be on a four week suspension and you are seeing a PEAP counselor."

I looked down as he said this.

"I expect you to use the time and reflect. You are part of a family and we need you, but you must be sober or I can't protect you against Ecklie."

I looked at him as he said that.

"Okay?"

"Fine."

He nodded standing. I listened to him leave.

I came back to work feeling glad to be back. The progress I made with the counselor helped me. The first day I only saw Grissom for a minute then a week later we began at case together. Arriving at the scene we realized that I would have to crawl into a pipe to find the weapon. Grissom helped me in and I began to crawl down the small pipe.

"Find anything?" Grissom asked, over the microphone.

"Nothing that is a weapon." I said, grimacing over the smell.

I crawled further down the pipe jumping when a rat ran by me.

"Sara?"

"I'm okay….just a rat."

He nodded holding a rope that was tied around my waist. I heard water dripping on down the pipe.

"I found something." I said, looking ahead.

"What is it?" Grissom asked

"I don't know." I said, crawling on. I stopped after a second feeling that I was stuck on something above. I tried moving to undo whatever it was, but it didn't work. "Grissom, I am stuck."

"Try moving around." He said, listening.

I tried again stopping when I heard water.

"Grissom, I hear water!"

He tried to pull the rope with some officer's help. I reached forward grabbing the knife I found hearing the water rushing up. I used the knife to try to undo whatever was catching. Grissom yanked hard trying with all his might to get me out. I coughed as the water hit me as I continued to work. Water spilled out of the tunnel.

I held my breath trying to undo myself. It came undone and I was pulled back. Grissom and the men kept pulling not realizing how far I had gone. My boots came out as the water spilled out all around me. Grissom pulled me out seeing I was still. He climbed the hill putting me down on the ground to start CPR. After two tries he watched me arch my back coughing water. Sighing with relief he smoothed my hair watching me breathe in and out quickly. I held up the knife giving it to him.

After shift I came out of the locker room showered and smelling nice. Grissom sat at his desk thinking as I knocked. He looked over at me.

"Hey." I said

"Hey."

"Look, I wanted to thank you for saving me." I said, as I leaned against his doorframe.

"No problem." He said "Happy to do it."

"Okay." I said "Bye."

He watched me disappear.

"Sara?"

I came back looking in at him.

"Come in for a minute."

I stepped in watching him get up walking over to the door. He closed it looking at me.

"Oh no, what did I do now?" I asked

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you."

"What about?"

"I just was thinking ever since what happened earlier and I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner sometime."

I stared at him surprised. My heart pounded in my ears. He waited for my answer. Without a warning I moved closer to him putting my hand on his neck kissing him. He didn't kiss back as he hadn't expected this. I knew it was a big mistake and now everything would be awkward between us. I moved back only to have his lips come forward to meet mine again. This time he moved his lips against mine in a slow motion. His arms went around me as he deepened the kiss. His hand went to my cheek rubbing the soft skin on my face. I moved to the next level making the kissing more urgent. He caught up as he started to breath quickly. He pushed me back towards the couch against the wall. I fell laughing as he shut the blinds climbing over me. We kissed again and I felt him undoing my clothes. He broke the kiss sitting up watching as I undid his pants.

"Are you…sure?" He asked, lying against me.

"I love you. Of course I am sure." I said, looking at him smiling.

"I love you to."

After he said that we kissed heading down the road that would bring us to a happy ending.


End file.
